I just want to say . . .

Thank you.

To those who have stuck with me back when life was challenging in more usual ways;

To those who found my story compelling enough to stay;

To those who have been challenged to think about things in new ways;

To those who are really only here for the sparkly bits;

To everyone who has found something in my words that speaks to them . . . 

Thank you!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

 May you share time with those you love and support you, 

Have food to share.
And peace, in mind, body and heart.

-Vixi

One More Week

First off, I’d like to thank all of you who shared the information about my missing brother. As of this afternoon, the search has not turned up anything substantial and the area where he was last has been exhaustively combed. We still have a couple of days with some smaller groups of searchers but the local authorities are working on investigating potential leads outside of the forest.

For continued updates please visit the

Bring Vernon Cody Matthews Home Facebook Page  and website.

I will also post new updates here as we get them.

 Ok . . . *shuffles papers* . . . now onto the meltdown.

So, we are one week away from both

our 10^th wedding anniversary and our wedding / vow renewal.

 A few weeks ago my sister (who is also one of my bridesmaids) let us know that due to health complications she may not be able to be in the ceremony,

and possibly unable to attend at all.

This sucks.

She was one of my original bridesmaids, is incredibly open and supportive of both Hunny’s transition and of our relationship, and has been an excited participant at every stage of planning. Her health absolutely comes first, but it will hurt if she isn’t able to be there.

 Since my brother has been missing for a week, it is less and less likely that he will be able to attend. While I am hopeful that my brother will reappear unharmed with an awesome story of his harrowing misadventure, the longer he is gone the greater the likelihood of an extended medical stay.

Not only is this hard because of the worry and fear we are all trying to keep at bay, it also makes it less likely that my parents will be able to attend. I’m fairly sure that they will, rightly, choose to remain in the search area in case there are any other discoveries made. I understand the necessity, unfortunately the search area is about 500 miles from the venue, and it seems unlikely that they will be willing to leave the search for that long.

This does further complicate things for us as my mom was planning to be our childcare from the night before the event until the end of the weekend (so we could have a day or two as a second honeymoon). Happily, Adoree and Alani (my remaining bridesmaids, also from our original wedding) have totally stepped in to make sure the kids get to the venue so that 

Hunny and I can get ready on the big day. My friends are amazing.

 Today, Hunny found out that one of her bridesmaids may not be able to make it due to training at a new job, but our makeup artist may also be working

and so unable to get us ready . . . one week from the event.

 So, we may be down to 2 bridesmaids each; be doing our own makeup (any pointers on false lashes? I have never used them . . .); and most of my immediate family may not show up. And we still aren’t sure how Hunny and I are getting to the venue, we have a limo booked to take us from the reception (cause neither of us will be able to drive in our gowns) but if our childcare is only for the day of than we can’t rely on the hotel’s courtesy shuttle to get us (and much of the wedding stuff) to the venue in the first place as we won’t be going to the hotel. (Our other option is to change out of our gowns at the end of the reception, but this is less than ideal with how the venue’s changing are is part of the bathroom in the reception hall.)

At this point I’m not sure whether to laugh, scream or cry. I’d like to lie down, but the kids are too rowdy (even after playing in the yard), and Hunny has already been crying so I can’t afford to indulge in a meltdown.

We just have to manage to get through one more week . . . somehow.  

A Quick Thank You

Families like mine in Maine, Maryland, Washington and Minnesota

have new protections and rights.

 

Parents can rest easier knowing that their children

won’t be taken from their partners if tragedy strikes.

 

Partners won’t have to fight to see each other in the hospital

 if sick or injured. Can’t be denied health care or life insurance payments

because of who they love.

 

That our country can see that
the LGBTQ community is made up of people.

 

That who you love isn’t the only important thing about you. That it shouldn’t preclude anyone from being treated with equality and respect.

 

To the voters in Maine, Maryland and Washington: Thank you.

Thank you for accepting and including a community
that has been so often denigrated and overlooked.

Thank you for supporting everyone’s right
to marry the person they love, regardless of gender.

 

To the voters in Minnesota: Thank you.

Thank you for standing up for the rights of
your friends, family members, neighbors . . .
For not allowing bullies to use the law
to justify harassment and discrimination.

Thank you for taking the first step toward equality.  

 

Together we are powerful. We can change the world.

 

 And yesterday, in those four states, we did.

And the World Turns . . .

Today is my 30th birthday.

In the 3 decades I've been on this planet I may not have changed the world, become famous, or become who I thought I'd grow up to be . . .

When I was in elementary school I dreamed of being a biochemist, of creating animals that didn't exist and designing a car that would run on smog.

Instead I have become a mother. I created children whom I hope will grow uo to be good people.

When I was in high school I wanted to become a veterinarian and work with horses.

Now I tend to bruises and scrapes, remove stitches and heal hurts with band-aids, perxoide, and a loving touch.

When I was in college I wanted to own a ranch and train horses.

Everyday I wrangle wild children and teach them to work together, to follow directions, to do their share, and hope to do so without breaking their spirit.

And I have accomplished so much more than I ever dreamed possible.
I have stood on the field inside the RCA Dome and preformed in front of tens of thousands from all over the country.
I have gotten back on the horse after nearly being thrown.

I have rafted the white water on the Kern River and smiled as we bounced off the rocks.

I swam in pools heated by hot springs and being fed on my mosquitoes the size of bison.

I helped clean the burns of a child who'd fallen into a fire pit, who's mother rode the bus to school with me.

I carried triplets who should not have survived, and learned that having them saved my life.

I kept my head when my child stopped breathing, and brought her back from the brink.

I have stretched pennies into dollars, kept the wheels turning and made sure we got by.

I have worked for a salary, worked to save money, and worked to keep it all together.

I have a wonderful husband beside me who works incredibly hard for us, for our family. He was my first love, my first kiss, and so many other firsts . . . my light in the darkness and my only love.
I have 5 beautiful children, 2 boys and 3 girls who teach me everyday. Who are my hope for the future. Who challenge me daily to be better, to show them how. Who changed how I view the world.
I have friends who have supported me in times of weakness and who have leaned on my strength when theirs ran out. We have laughed until we cried, loved even though distance made it hurt, cried on each other's shoulders when life pushed us down and pulled each other back up when it seemed we couldn't get back on our feet.
My friends, my sisters and brothers . . . I love you.
Thank you, my world would be a colder place without you.

Tonight I'm going out with my husband. We'll get some food, see a movie, spend a few precious moments together. To just BE with one another.

And that's all I really want for my birthday.

- Vixi



(P.S. Jewelry Giveaway is now closed. Any comments after 9pm pacific time will not be entered. Winner will be announced on Friday Jan. 13th.)