Saturday, July 31

A Simple Rant: Don't Pray for Me

I'm Agnostic.
While this covers a range of beliefs (most being that a higher power exists but is not worshiped, only recognized), my personal belief is that no organized religion, large or small, has it right. Too much is open to interpretation, and everyone views that wisdom through the veil of their own experiences and prejudices. But that is a discussion for another post . . . .
Since the birth of my triplets (well, since they came home from the NICU) everyone feels the need to comment. While most comments are along the lines of 'oh, they're adorable' and 'are they all girls?' ('cause the pink car seats and outfits are so gender neutral), the comments that bother me are the constant offers of prayer. Now let me be clear, I appreciate the thought and the desire to help that most people have and on the whole I'm very honored by their kindness.
The issue for me stems back to a conversation I had with my grandmother (a minister) earlier this week. She told me about one of her divinity students (training to become a minister in her church) who was given the assignment of praying for my babies on a daily basis. Then my grandmother shared how much her student had enjoyed seeing the newest pictures of the babies SHE was helping to take care of through her assigned daily prayer.
Well, that I don't appreciate. It is all well and good to wish the best for someone, but to take credit for my childrens' well being when you've never met them or me . . . that is insulting.
Prayer didn't find and move to correct the blood flow issue that almost killed 2 of my girls in utero. Prayer didn't catch the lack of growth in the smallest girl in time to deliver all 3 safely. Prayer didn't find the necrotizing cyst on my ovary that was days from rupturing. Doctors did. Prayer didn't keep my girls alive and growing in the NICU. Dedicated doctors, nurses and volunteers did. Prayer hasn't kept them healthy, growing and safe since they got home. I have. My husband and my mother have. Our friends and family have. We have done the feeding, changing, bathing, burping, holding, comforting, playing and everything else necessary to get these girls to where they are now.
So, if you feel entitled to credit for my childrens' health and well being, even though we've never met, on the grounds that you added them to your prayer list, it's time to re-evaluate why you're praying. My children should not be your ego boost.
And if they are . . . well, don't pray for us. Pray for yourself.

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