Hunny has been on hormones for over a year and a half. She
has changed so much, not only physically, but emotionally. She is so feminine that
the constant comments about her height drive her crazy. From my own experience,
I can say that the ‘you’re so tall’s and the ‘do you play basketball’s get old
quickly and she’s still a few inches taller than I am. She loves her shoes, boots especially. Happily,
her feet are only about a half size larger than mine (her feet have gotten
significantly smaller, and mine are decidedly not tiny) so we share. She
gets mis-gendered (called sir or him instead of miss /ma’am or her) far less
often than she used to (at least when I’m with her), and more often, by people
who know her but don’t understand or support her transition rather than
strangers.
Physically, the changes are both subtle and startling. Her
lips continue to become fuller, her cheeks less angular. Her eyes aren’t as
deep set, and even her nose has become more refined. Her body becomes curvier
(in all the right places) and her stance has changed as her hips and pelvis
widen (I believe the amount of estrogen and progesterone she is taking is
causing her body to loosen her ligaments as though pregnant). As her hair has
grown out it has become a tumble of curls (since my hair won’t hold a curl at
all, I am incredibly envious). I find myself smitten all over again.
The emotional changes are harder. Hunny is breaking decades
of societal conditioning and going through puberty at the same time. We argue
more than we used to, and more spectacularly, but we also spend more time
curled up together, holding and supporting each other. We are closer than ever
before, much to the annoyance of the kids. I love her so much. It is physically
painful to be apart for very long.
. . .
Our tenth anniversary is only six months away. We decided to
have a wedding, not just a vow renewal, but a wedding to celebrate. We want to
have the opportunity to say our vows, Hunny as her true self without hiding and
me to the woman I love. We found a beautiful venue that includes nearly
everything, and is in our price range. It even included a cake through our
choice of outside bakery. We even found our dresses on the same day, at the
same store. The sales girls had tears in their eyes when we kissed after
finding our dresses. Hunny looks beautiful in her dress, and I love how I feel
in mine.
. . .
I turned 32. My parents took the kids overnight. Hunny and I
went to dinner, and after a failed attempt to go dancing (the club we went to
doesn’t open the dance floor until after the entertainers finish) we went to a
movie. Not having the kids underfoot, Hunny and I spent the morning cuddling in
bed before going out to breakfast and picking up the monsters. All in all, it
was a good day.
. . .
While I hope to be able to write more often, life is hectic
and the triplets don’t nap anymore . . .
I have many things I
want to write about. Here’s hoping that I get a little more opportunity to do
so.
-
Vixi
I found your blog through something you wrote for the Feminist Mormon Housewives about your marriage. I just found it and wondered how things were going. I came here and found you had just answered my question recently. I cried when I read it. I am MtF and my spouse and children are my only support. Thank you for sharing what you have, it is touching and very meaningful for me. It is nice to know that we, my wife and I are not alone and others are making it. I wish you and your family all the best.
ReplyDeleteAnon, I'm so glad you found your way here. I know how lonely it can feel being the family that makes transition work, especially within the community. There are more families like ours out there, and more and more of them are sharing their stories online. Check out Melissa's blog, Permission to Live.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.patheos.com/blogs/permissiontolive/2012/04/unwrapping-the-onion-introduction.html